


The Bridge ...is not the Best Place to Start a Relationship

by fallenTerpsichore



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Apologies, Break Up, Choking, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, theres no violence that isnt already in the movies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-27
Updated: 2014-10-29
Packaged: 2018-02-22 20:11:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2520299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallenTerpsichore/pseuds/fallenTerpsichore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim can't just let Spock walk away. Spock's smart enough, he'll probably figure out that everything Jim just said was all lies, but he can't take that risk. This "friendship that will define you both" is just too important to leave to chance. The little taste of it he got from "Ambassador Spock" in the mind meld, he wants that again. He wouldn't let it be lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jim

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I have to admit that when I started reading this shipping, I was secretly kind of laughing at it.(cause I can't picture Shatner and Nimoy being romantic... cuddly I don't have to imagine, just go watch the movies) I had no idea until I did my research that there was so much subtext in the original series, that it's practically canon. All the hand holding alone is kind of obscene. And I mean really, Gene made a special Vulcan word just to describe Jim and Spock 's relationship? How cool is that? So I think I was compelled by my conscience to write this story in penance. We will call it my warm up for NaNoWriMo, yes?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim apologizes...

Kirk knew it had been a terrible idea. He had even told the older ambassador version of the man before him exactly that. Too bad pre-delivered 'I told you so's were not nearly as satisfying when you were being choked to death by the man who was supposed to become your best friend. Brother? Best friend ? Best... everything... T'hy'la. 

The older ambassador Spock had readily agreed the plan was likely to get the snot beat out of Kirk, but he had insisted that his younger self would not kill him. Oh boy, was he wrong.... and Kirk had believed him, mostly anyway. How could he not with the love and affection that had run like a river under the current of almost overwhelming grief through the mind meld? Now that was what had gotten him into trouble and clouded his judgement, those damn feelings. That deep well of loss, softened and surrounded by the strength imparted by Kirk's mere presence. 

Older ambassador Spock had definitely found Kirk being kicked off the ship and marooned by his younger self amusing enough, but more than that he had felt that in the hour of his deepest despair the universe had forgiven him and conspired to gift his T'hy'la back to him because he needed him. 

And yeah... hadn't that been a loaded feeling. Not that the older Spock had done or said anything inappropriate. Not that he'd even hinted at anything romantic, but there had been a distinct lack of time to contemplate everything imparted in the mind meld. How odd that he should be dissecting it all now, while spots danced across his vision, as the world darkened. 

It suddenly occurred to him to wonder why he wasn't already dead though. Vulcans were so much stronger than humans and Spock should have finished him off ages ago, easily. He struggled to focus on the man pinning him down and it slowly sunk in that he was frozen. Hand clamped tightly around his throat, pressure consistent but not increasing. What? Oh right, touch-telepath... oh, shit. 

Can't think about older him, SHOULDN'T think about how hot he looks pissed off or how much I could love him back. Bad Brain... Stupid mind melds. 

Think about something safe. The first and most overwhelming aspect of the mind meld had been the other man's grief. Grief that he had not made it to Romulus in time to save it. Grief at Vulcan's unjust and intentional destruction... Grief that this was the first time he had seen his T'hy'la in over half a century and it would be the last... should be the last. Okay, maybe not as safe a train of thought as he would like. 

I grieve with thee... drifted through his mind. The older Ambassador'd had way too many occasions to use that phrase and for some reason his oxygen deprived brain decided that was the best thought to hang onto. He repeated the phrase over and over as he struggled against the hand still frozen tightly around his throat. I grieve with thee. I grieve with thee, I do. I grieve with thee, please Spock, I can't breath!

Focus suddenly came back into the dark eyes above him and the grip around his throat immediately gentled. Long seconds passed and neither of them looked away. He knew it was probably stupid not to break eye contact. There was too much that Spock might see or feel, but he couldn't help it initially as the shock, horror, grief and disbelief flew across his should-be-friend's face. He had put that look of horror on his T'hy'la. Guilt and fresh grief flooded through him and his conscience squirmed with self -loathing at the truly horrible things he had said. He had a brief second of panic as he wondered about just how much was Spock getting from him when the man pulled away, stunned. 

He sucked in painful glorious lungfuls of air as Spock stumbled away from him and realized the relief of no longer having to maintain eye contact was every bit as real as that of being able to breath again. He vaguely heard Spock quietly relinquish his command as acting captain and admit to being emotionally compromised. The words sounded broken and sore. He had done that to him, wounded the best friend he would ever have and if Spock hadn't hated him before, he most certainly would now. Something inside him winced in agony at the thought of Spock hating him. He had to get to the vulcan before he left the bridge. He had to make sure Spock knew how sorry he was.

Kirk managed to grab him just as Spock reached the door. He brush Uhura out of his path as he all but stumbled into the man. It took no effort at all to stop him and turn him around, the vulcan was limp with shock. He placed one hand on his shoulder as the other reached up to grasp the nape of his neck and pull their heads together. He pressed his forehead hard into Spock's, trying desperately to push all his regret and shared grief directly into him.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sooo sorry. I didn't mean it. You know I didn't mean it, right?" 

His voice was hoarse and raspy as he tried to get the words out and he felt a fresh wave of returning guilt clearly connected to the damaged sound of his voice. His other hand came up and his hands shifted to gently hold the man's face in direct counterpoint to the fierce pressure against his forehead. Unconsciously his thumbs began to caress vulcan cheeks, graze against the man's sensitive ears. He no longer cared what it looked like to anyone else. The only thing that mattered was soothing the shattered look in Spock's eyes. He tightly closed his own eyes unable to look at it anymore.

" 'M okay, i's okay, just ... Please tell me you know I didn't mean it."

Please just tell me you don't hate me... 'cause I already love you so much...

"I don't hate you..."

...

Oh, shit.


	2. Spock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock accepts his apology...mostly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story is mostly written at this point. I just want to sleep and then read it all out loud to my favorite critic for proofreading and to make sure I don't need to tweak anything.

How. Dare. He.

How did this human dare to say anything about his mother? About anything Spock did or did not feel? Logic and reason bled away in a haze of rage as he flung the young man around the bridge like a rag doll and poured his outrage into his fists, till finally he had a hand wrapped around that obnoxious boy's throat to choke off his words. Let him try to make blithe and cruel insinuations now. It barely registered, when his father called out his name. Indeed, the only sound that seemed real was that of his blood pounding in his veins. His parental bond to his father was buried by pain and his bond to his mother was a gaping hole in his heart... that was being filled by the bleed off coming from the skin to skin contact of his hand around Jim Kirk's neck. 

The confusion of emotions and thoughts was pure chaos and left him completely stunned as it washed over him like a river. 

Bad idea- ambassador-I told you so- brother?- not best friends- t'hy'la - I'm gonna die- affection-grief-despair-marooned is not funny- t'hy'la- why am I not dead- oh shit-stop thinking-so hot- love -BAD BRAIN -stupid mind melds-So much grief- t'hy'la- so sorry- I grieve with thee- t'hy'la- I grieve with thee- I do- I grieve with thee.- Please, Spock, I can't breath!

Spock's hand finally obeyed his command to release it's death grip on Jim Kirk's throat and he looked down in shock and bewilderment. The tentative connection told him the man beneath him was not predisposed to cruelty and he could feel the grief and compassion that had been projected at him was sincere. He could FEEL it. 

Horror engulfed him. He had completely lost control and almost killed someone... and someone who was still almost more boy than man. Someone who wanted to call him t'hy'la. Someone who would willingly share his grief and he had tried to kill him. He had almost killed his first officer. How would Kirk even know that word? James Tiberius Kirk. Jim. If you were going to kill someone, you should at least have the decency to call them by their name. He had tried to kill Jim. 

He was so ashamed, as he glanced around the bridge. 

He kept his eyes down, unable to meet anyone's gaze as he spoke. They had all been shocked, scared, and pitying, excepting Kirk who was coughing and struggling to pull much needed air into his lungs and his father who was as unreadable as ever and merely looked intense. How does one even manage to look emotionless and intense at the same time? His voice was rough and muted as he spoke to the doctor, removing himself from command. 

He moved toward the door, eyes still averted from everyone. He paused and flinched away from Nyota Uhura without looking at her, as she took a single step toward him at the door, and then he was suddenly being pulled back and around into the room. To his great surprise, it was Jim Kirk.

Jim Kirk, who was dragging him back, one hand reaching around into his hair at the back of his neck and pulling him forward till their foreheads were pressed together. The man looked at him briefly, before closing his eyes shut tightly as if being able to see him was too intimate and then he began rambling.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sooo sorry. I didn't mean it. You know I didn't mean it, right?" 

Jim's voice sounded hoarse and damaged and Spock winced internally at the sound, a fresh wave of guilt threatened to overwhelm him. Spock had done that to him. All he wanted to do was run away and hide his shame.

There was an answering tide of warmth and reassurance that rolled back into him, from the hand at the back of his neck before it moved. Both of Jim's hands came up to frame his face, one thumb was caressing his cheek, the other brushing against his sensitive ear, as Jim continued to try to press his apology directly into Spock's brain. Regret, apology, and shame for words he had been forced to speak, it had actually hurt Jim to say the things he had. Spock wouldn't have believed it, but here it was, earnest and sincere, and being pressed forcefully against his forehead. 

Spock thought briefly to himself how very similar this was to the motions Nyota had made earlier, in her attempts to comfort him ... Surely not...

" 'M okay, i's okay, just ... Please tell me you know I didn't mean it."

~Please just tell me you don't hate me... 'cause I already love you so much...~

It was such a heart felt comment, the affection warm and soothing with it's undercurrent of anxiety. Panic that every possibility of friendship, of anything at all, had been ruined. It was so clear, so much more intense than anything he had felt in years. This is what they meant, when they said "compatibility" of minds. The grief and worry knifed into him again and it was no longer an option not to answer it.

"I don't hate you..." His voice just as rough as the man's he had choked.

It took only a moment and Jim Kirk's hands froze in place as the realization hit him; Spock had answered his unspoken words.

~ ... Oh, shit... ~

~ "Oh, shit" indeed, Mr. Kirk.~

They sat there in silence and it should have been much more uncomfortable than it was, what with Jim Kirk essentially caressing his face in small soothing motions.

~...~

~ I think I need a minute, as they say, Mr. Kirk.~

~I'll still be here, when you get back... and it's Jim.~

~... Jim...~

Spock walked away from the bridge and Jim Kirk in absolute shock. His mind racing to catch up with the events that had just transpired.

He had completely lost control. How had it happened? 

Jim Kirk was how. 

There was just something about him that thoroughly and completely got under his skin. Had from the first moment he had seen him. Was it his arrogance, his attitude? Maybe in the beginning... maybe it had more to do with those intelligent piercing blue eyes that seemed to read him so easily. He remembered how much each previous run through the Kobayashi Maru test had distressed Kirk. The man's triumph the last time and Spock's earlier sympathy had irritated him into lodging the cheating complaint. Truthfully using the word "cheating" would have implied a certain amount of secrecy in an attempt to beat the test and there had been none. Kirk had blatantly thumbed his victory in their faces. He had never intended to "get away with it". Kirk had been trying to make a point and Spock was now willing to admit that.

He listened to Kirk's ship wide broadcast to the crew as he walked. He felt no rancor toward the man, his words and voice elicited not even the slightest irritation in him. Now, it was more of a pull, as if the man's voice was attempting to draw him back to his side. How could the human want to apologize to Spock? How could he say he loved him after everything Spock had said and done to him in the last 24 hours? Especially after how he had brought up Jim's dead parent. He knew now how badly he had crossed the line with his remarks. He had essentially done what had always triggered his own worst emotional responses and Kirk had taken it all with a grim and bitter smile and then apparently forgiven him, because he ... 'loved' him. 

He was so confused.


	3. Nyota

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nyota watches in shock as the boys have a "moment"...

What. The. Hell.

What the hell just happened?!

Nyota Uhura stood numb in shock, as Spock pulled himself gently from Jim Kirk's hands and walked out the door without a single glance in her direction. 

Her brain tried again to reboot. 

Spock had put his own hands gently over the hands of the man he had just beaten to a pulp moments ago, hands that were practically stroking his face, and then he had pulled away slowly, with fingertips clinging and lingering until the last second, almost like a caress. Oh, and let's not forget how Kirk had pressed his face into Spock's personal space like a grade A creeper. Both of them with their foreheads pressed together, Kirk whispering "sorry" inches from Spock's lips! For a moment there she actually thought they might start kissing!  


Spock just had some sort of moment with JIM KIRK and walked past her like she wasn't even there. 

Nope. It still didn't make any sense to her what so ever.

Her heart had been breaking for Spock just moments ago. Nyota had watched in sadness and horror as the man she loved became someone else and all because Jim Kirk had chosen to break him. Maybe the real question she should be asking was why? Was Kirk just on a power trip or what? ...Not likely with the way he had turned around and apologized immediately afterwards.

Jim Kirk had a reputation for making jokes and sleeping around. He was not known for being serious or lying or for being cruel for that matter. Yes, he was so much smarter than he let on, it often seemed like he was acting the clown to hide in plain sight. Who knew his reasons for that one? It had actually hurt his case more than once. This new evidence of deviousness made her think that quite possibly he didn't even sleep around as much as people implied...maybe. In her experience, he liked to laugh and he liked to drink. Which is why the horrible horrible filth spilling out of his mouth just moments ago had shocked her so thoroughly. 

It was as if for some reason it had been all important that Spock not be captain anymore, and once that had been accomplished Jim Kirk was all heartfelt apologies and kisses. Sheesh, he HAD all but kissed Spock while apologizing and the truly disturbing thing was that Spock had let him. It had taken her months to get to the point where Spock wouldn't pull away and stiffen into immovable rock every time she touched him or showed even the slightest bit of emotion and here comes Jim Kirk, hedonistic-sex god-genius, and he breaks through all of Spock's walls in a matter of hours. Well, she supposed there was something inherently intimate in beating the crap out of someone, but it would definitely win the weird award in her book, as a way to bring people closer together... maybe it was a guy thing. 

Nyota almost startled out of her skin when the new guy, still soaking wet, grinned widely and blurted out into the tense silence.

''I like this ship! It's exciting!"

She wasn't sure if she should thank him or smack him for breaking the tension. 

Nyota was definitely leaning toward violence. 'Cause now that she started thinking about it, when they had first started arguing, Spock had immediately stepped into Jim's personal space without hesitation. Spock had wasted no time getting right up in Jim's face and the very loud Scotsman is exactly what made her remember it. When they had tried to draw him into their argument, he had looked appraisingly at Jim and then Spock, grinned knowingly and quipped "I'd rather no' take sides". The chemistry clashing between the two was not just her imagination then. Despite the Scotsman's allusions to the otherwise, she refused however to believe that what she and the others had just witnessed on the bridge was some sort of lover's spat. Spock had just met Jim Kirk yesterday at the disciplinary hearing... Hadn't he? Before this moment, she would have sworn to it. Spock could certainly pull off the necessary mask to lie and hide another relationship from her, but he wouldn't do that. Vulcans don't lie, not ever, not even to save someone's life, not even their own. 

Oh, and look at that. Sulu is informing the good doctor that Pike made Jim Kirk first officer and now he's Captain. Yeah. Sneaky bastard... he better not be dating Spock behind her back, because cheating aside, manipulating someone who cares about you like that would be beyond sick and she would have to kick Kirk's ass just on principle. 

Nyota paused as she stomped angrily to her post. She was sure Jim Kirk was the most heartless slimy-est bastard she had ever met. 

"I sure hope you know what you're doing," She snapped, her disgust only thinly concealed. 

He looked up at her. The hesitation and trepidation clearly written on his face.

"So do I."

Huh. Not smug and full of himself at all... Maybe there was a method to his madness, he was a genius level IQ after all.

She was so thrown by it all that she barely registered Spock's father, Sarek, slipping out to follow his son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay should I post one chapter a week or one chapter a day? Though does it really matter, 'cause there is only 2 more chapter's at this point...


	4. Sarek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarek speaks to his son.

Sarek watched the events unfold on the bridge with great interest and puzzlement. His first thought was that he had been sure his wife had informed him that Spock had recently started dating a human woman, a lieutenant Uhura. He was reasonably sure she had been positive in it being a woman, but now he was wondering if there had been some erroneous communication. He had been observing the very professional manner Spock had been interacting with his command crew, including the communications officer, who Sarek was sure now was this Uhura, but there had been little recognition between them and certainly nothing on the same level as there was between the two men he was watching argue now. Had his son thought they would be upset that he was interested in another male? Surely not. 

Amanda had always reassured Spock she at least would be proud of him no matter what. Vulcan's did not ascribe to an emotion like pride openly, but he had thought his son knew him and their traditions well enough that while two individuals of the same gender being together did not necessarily make logical sense from a reproductive stance; sometimes it did from a compatability view point. Like some of the warrior poets of old before Surek's enlightenment of control and logic.

He watched the conversation go from tense to argumentative to out right combative. The emotions of both participants were obviously running high. If anything the human seemed to be speaking with more deliberateness and control than his own son. How interesting.

Then suddenly his son roared and attacked the man in front of him. Spock had always taken any perceived attack on his mother to heart, he thought Sarek didn't know what had usually brought about his violent emotional outbursts, but he knew. Of course he knew, he had always endeavored to be the best father he could be and that would include understanding his son to the best of his ability.

He watched intently as his son attacked Jim Kirk and his alarm grew as he realized the human was barely defending himself, as if he could not bring himself to fight back, as if he was afraid to truly strike back and risk hurting Spock. Then his son was choking the man, pinning him to the control panel and now Sarek was more than sure that Spock would regret it if he permanently harmed this human, for many reasons. He called his name in the time honored manner and tonal quality that parents on every world knew. 

"Spock!"

Sarek could tell that the word had barely penetrated his son's all consuming rage, but he watched as Spock slowly came back to himself and the dawning horror of his actions grew on his face. He was sure some communication had passed between the two and that it had not been his exclamation that had stopped his son. 

He listened passively , his sorrow for his child's pain under tight control, as his son relinquished his command of the vessel, but his interest was piqued a second time when Kirk grabbed his boy as he was trying to flee in shame and proceeded to apologize profusely in a mild panic to be sure Spock understood how much he was sorry. How he had not meant any of it. Oh, there was definitely something more going on there.

The human was embarassingly intimate and sweet with his touches to Spock's face and Sarek only managed to keep from blushing by decades of practicing self control. He glanced around at the other humans present in his discomfort and noticed Lt. Uhura's shock and discomfort mirrored his own. Oh... oh, Spock. What have you gotten yourself into? Who would have thought his son such a human "Casanova"?

He followed his son discreetly out the door moments later, after Spock had reluctantly pulled himself away from Kirk as he declared quietly, "I don't hate you" to the startled human.

Sarek found his boy hiding in the transporter room, where they had both realized the depth of their loss. He tried to wait patiently for Spock to speak, but he ended up attempting to draw him out... ironically not unlike how Amanda would have done it.

"Speak your mind, Son."

Spock's words were low and tense. "That would be unwise."

"What is necessary is never unwise." Sarek kept his tone gentle.

"I am as conflicted, as I once was as a child."

Sarek's heart gave an involuntary twinge. He knew Spock's childhood had been fraught with prejudice and discontentment, but never had he heard that much self depreciation in his son's voice. He had to set at least one record straight. Everything he and Amanda had shared demanded it of him.

"You will always be a child of two worlds. I am grateful for this ... and for you."

Spock's surprise at his father's words made Sarek sad. It was right that he had said the words out loud.

"I feel anger for the one who took mother's life, an anger I can not control."

Sarek stepped closer to Spock and spoke again with a forced lightness he did not feel. "I believe she would say, 'do not try too'. You asked me once why I married your mother. I married her, because I loved her."

Spock's face clearly declared his shock at his father's words. It was unheard of to so openly admit one's feelings, even so Sarek could at least admit to himself that it had felt good to say it out loud to his son. He had always kept his emotions under tight control in Spock's presence to set the best example, but perhaps that had been a mistake. His son was half human and humans expressed their emotions all the time, it followed that there could be a healthier middle ground that Spock should aim for, maybe this Jim Kirk would be key in finding it... speaking of which.

Sarek waited for Spock to look at him again, giving him much needed time to adjust to the profound declarations he had shared. He probably should feel bad for prying, but there had been so many upheavals this day and if his son had indeed found someone even half as special as his mother Amanda had been, then Sarek needed to know for what little peace of mind it would give him.

"So, my son... I thought you had sent news that you were dating a female lieutenant Uhura in Starfleet, but this Jim Kirk is not what I had expected and is most certainly not female." 

Despite all denials to the contrary, vulcans were not ignorant of the custom of "teasing" and in addition Sarek had lived with a human mate for more than 30 years.

Spock looked startled and outright blushed at his father's words.

"I did not lie. I am not dating Jim Kirk."

"Then the interaction we all witnessed on the bridge?"

"That is a recent and unexpected development." Spock admitted reluctantly.

"I think your mother would have come to like him."

"Sir?" Spock asked in confusion at his father's words.

Sarek gave the barest hint of smile as he clarified his opinion. "Despite his seemingly cruel words. Kirk refused to even attempt to physically harm you, while you were lashing out at him. Then he did not hesitate to apologize and most profusely in fact. That would have pleased your mother."

Spock gave a slight nod, acknowledging that Sarek was likely correct in his estimation and they shared a companionable silence as they both reflected in Amanda's loving memory. Sarek broke the respectful quiet first.

"Though this may not be the best time, do not wait too long to make things clear with this Lt. Uhura. She seemed to be greatly distressed with what transpired between you and Kirk..." Sarek hesitated to say more, but felt he needed to be clear. "And I am ... happy for you, that you have found someone that obviously means much to you." With that he turned to leave, trusting that Spock would infer all his unspoken acceptance and approval correctly.

Spock blushed again, the faint green hue spreading all the way to his ears this time. "Indeed." Was the only word he could manage to choke out as his father left the transporter room to give his beloved son the privacy needed to compose himself once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more chapter to go... highlighting what I think would be the biggest differences Jim's apology makes.


	5. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone gives a little bit of their thoughts as the Enterprise crew takes the fight to Nero.

Chapter 5: Epilogue

~o0o~ Jim ~o0o~

Jim feels a little hesitant when Spock comes striding back in with his confidence and walls all clearly restored and then he can't help but feel a little hurt when Spock doesn't acknowledge anything that had really passed between them in the slightest.

Kirk doesn't want to let Spock risk his life as the vulcan outlines his plan, but he reluctantly agrees to allow it with the stipulation that he goes with Spock over to the Narada. He just can't bring himself to trust Spock's safety to anyone else, but it's more than that. He knows they can pull this off, if it's the two of them doing it. Something in his gut tells him that this is truth at it's most basic.

When Spock replies with a quip about sighting regulations that Jim would just ignore , Kirk is confused because it almost sounds like exasperated fondness, but it's so unclear. So he slaps Spock on the arm in an overly loud and slightly obnoxious friendly way as he walks off to make preparations and winces inwardly at Spock's startled and confused look.

Yeah, Spock is probably regretting everything right now and is almost certainly going to get him deliberately killed while they are over on the Romulan's ship. 

'Fuck my life', Jim thinks bitterly to himself. 'I can't do anything right.'

~o0o~ Nyota ~o0o~

Spock fidgets uncomfortably as Nyota tries to give him a tearfully kiss goodbye on the transporter pad a few minutes later after the bridge crew has a finalized plan. She didn't want to believe what she had sensed earlier between Spock and Kirk, but there is no way to lie to herself right now. Spock clearly doesn't want her to kiss him in front of Kirk.

She ignores it as best she can, planting a determined kiss right on his lips and declaring that he better come back safe. She is not giving up her boyfriend with at least a little resistance. She glares at Jim Kirk briefly before stepping back, and Kirk's look of true surprise transforms as he openly winces and gives her a pained smile. Good. At least he is aware now that he's an unwelcome trespasser and he clearly didn't know there were any toes to be stepping on. Her mind flies involuntarily back to her earlier wild theories. That means they couldn't have been dating behind her back, right? If Kirk looks that surprised... because Spock would have to have been lying to both her and Kirk and vulcans don't lie... unless SHE - unless they BOTH - had misunderstood their dating arrangements and Spock had assumed they knew the relationships were casual and non-exclusive? Crap. She had wanted to be able to be angry at someone with a clear conscience. Well, actually she could be mad at Spock, if it is true...

She gives the slightest hint of a startle as she looks back at Spock and finds him glaring at her, in so much is he is capable at any rate. She looks reproachful for a moment, but Spock seems unmoved, so she plays ignorance even though she knows Spock hates what he calls human courtship games and merely walks away to the transporter controls saying that she will be monitoring his frequency. Isn't it just the most interesting thing that Spock would take offense at her glaring at Kirk.

She hears Kirk start to ask quietly, "Sooooo, you and Nyota...?" Leaving the question open for Spock to obviously fill in the blank... and when did he learn her first name?

Spock merely looks straight ahead refusing to meet Kirk's eyes and says, "I do not wish to discuss it."

Kirk just gives a brisk nod looking away as well, to hide the hurt and embarrassment that Nyota can see clearly on his face as she glances at them over her shoulder. 

Crap... and she is NOT supposed to feel sorry for the competition. She wouldn't have thought Spock or any vulcan to be any kind of "player", but it really looks like it is at least possible now that Spock has been dating them both at the same time... he probably thought he was being efficient, while trying to determine the best compatible companion. Oh, god. That actually sounds logical and reasonable, when she thinks about it like that. 

That... Bastard. 

This time both Kirk and Spock give her startled looks, when her eyes visibly narrow in a suspicious glare directed at Spock. Mr. Scott engages the transporter though, before anyone can say anything else.

~o0o~ Spock ~o0o~

Spock would not have thought any two strangers could work so thoroughly in concert, but their actions have been nearly seamless in their complimentive nature. When Spock drops his defenses momentarily to probe a fallen guard's mind for the information they need, Jim is right there to protect his back. Spock must also rethink Jim's actions during their fight on the bridge and he begins to think his father was correct that Jim was not even trying to fight, because he had thought that the differences in their relative physical strength had played a significant role in his beating Jim, but clearly Jim can hold his own even in such disparate cases. It is clear enough in the bruises he proudly wears, as Spock tells him they only have a 4.3% chance of their plan actually succeeding.

Jim just smiles and tells him, "It's alright. It'll work."

Jim clearly doesn't understand Spock's apprehension, but then Spock has not been very forth coming in his explanations, not with Jim or Nyota. So Spock tries again, "In the event, I do not survive this endeavor, please tell Nyota-"

"Spock. It'll work." Jim reassures him, calm and firm, with the kindest smile.

How can he smile at Spock like that, when it is plainly visible to the vulcan that his heart is breaking?

"No, YOU do not understand, Jim." Spock says as he realizes he must clarify at least this current miscommunication. "If I do not survive, please tell Nyota, I am sorry, because of this."

"Because of wha-?" 

Jim begins to ask and Spock cuts off his startled words by pulling him in close and pressing his lips to Jim's in a brief but passionate kiss.

"Because I would choose you over her," Spock replies with a bluntness that sounds harsh even to him. "Because I will choose you, if I have the chance and I needed you to know."

"Spock..." Jim hesitates, his voice full of wonder.

Spock leans in and presses another gentle kiss to Jim's lips as he adds, "You must hurry, we do not have much time before they catch up to us. I am sorry. I just needed you to know."

"No. It's okay." Jim hurriedly presses his own kiss to the corner of Spock's mouth before he smiles and rushes off calling over his shoulder. "It's ...good, but Nyota is so going to kill me though."

~o0o~

No one on the bridge is really surprised (least of all Sarek), when after Nero is defeated and the Enterprise returns to Earth, to see Jim Kirk and Spock sneaking smiles and looks and brief hand caresses as they disembark. No one at the Starfleet Academy had even known that Nyota Uhura and Spock had been dating. They had kept it pretty quiet, because they would have been in some trouble seeing as Spock was her linguistics professor, so there isn't even any hint of scandal from Spock having dumped her for Kirk. Well, maybe Dr. McCoy is shocked, but that's just because he is the only one who knew with any absolute certainty that the two had not even met before the disciplinary hearing and the crisis began. Neither does anyone comment, when Chekov grins and says to Sulu, "Told you so. Wery romantic. You owe me vone bottle of vodka and none of that synthehol crap."

Still, there's going to be one helluva grind going in the rumor mill from this one, the sort of stuff legends and fairy tales come from.

They suffer through the indignities of the debriefing, before being allowed to retreat to one or the other's room. Jim, because he is all but dead on his feet and Spock because he can't stop blushing from the way Jim is clutching and caressing his hand under the table while they are stuck in a room full of people. Spock should have known that Jim Kirk would be quite the exhibitionist.

 

~The End~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was very much fun to write. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as me and thanks for reading.


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